


5 Time Marco Reus Came Out of the Closet

by yardenise



Category: Football RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-10
Updated: 2016-04-10
Packaged: 2018-06-01 12:17:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6519010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yardenise/pseuds/yardenise
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>His 26 years of life through 5 meaningful times</p>
            </blockquote>





	5 Time Marco Reus Came Out of the Closet

**Author's Note:**

> Yup, here comes another thing I found burried and decided to translate and upload. Yet again sorry for spelling and grammar mistakes and as always, enjoy! x

1\. The first time is always the hardest:

He niether can not nor want to hold it inside any longer. It's about time to stop those days of denial. Yeah, he's gay. So what? He's a faggot, pillow biter, ring rider or... whatever. What can he do that he always liked seeing makeup products and videos?? besides, he's too white, he needs a bit of a colour.

But he's not only white. Yup. Him – Marco Reus himself. Player for the youth teams of big Borussia Dortmund, is to be wonder boy of the German football, the one with the cute girlfriend and many girl _fans_... is gay.

That's it. He said it to himself. He has been trying to lie to his inner self for too long. But he is pretty sure that the fact that he's having a hard on looking at his teammates at the locker room and not by looking at his girlfriend naked means something.

So yeah, enough is enough.

He stans infront of a mirror, fixing his precious hair that has to lay perfectly on the top of his head, trying to, unsuccessfully, wipe away the reddish circels beneath his eyes, those who forever will stay there. He takes a deep breath.

He's gay. 

 

2\. That's a lie. The second time is the harddest:

two words, that's all that came out of his mouth. Amazing how the little sounds you make can change everything. Amazing how they can just affect your whole life.

"Mom, Dad,” He stands infront of them as they were drinking their morning coffee at one of the summer holiday days.

He was just on the way to the bus that took him to the training ground. His training bag crossed his chest and he holds the already half empty bottle in his hand, shaking as an act of stress.

It's almost 3 years now that he keeps the big secret burried inside, beneath layers and layers of fear and shame. He hasn't told anyone about this, apart from himself, even though his ex-girlfriend may have noticed. But even if she did, she kept quiet about him. Him, himself, that still tried to get rid of the circles under his green eyes. Then, like always, looks at his reflection at the mirror. Sometimes he smiles at it, sometimes he is disgusted at what looks back at him.

He doesn't gey why it was so hard for them to accept that. It's not like there weren't early signs of it. Not once his parents opened the door just in time to hear a manly moan cracking out of the manly throat that was fucked in his computer screen. He managed to get away with it most of the time, and when he didn't... Well they probably just ignored it. Maybe, they just didn't want to believe what was going on with their son infront of their eyes. And it hurt, not because it surprised him – but just because he will miss this feeling of a family.

"I'm gay.”

 

3\. Third time's a charm:

"Listen,” He says, trying to digest what had happened some hours ago, that feels like forever. Thank god he has football to distract his mind everytime something bothers him.

And his best friend looks at him from the bench, unties the laces of his yellow shoes.

"Can I come over to sleep at yours tonight?”

So his friend raises one eyebrow, and as he dig his foot out of the shoe, he raises the second. “Sure.”

A smile of relief washes over him. Looking back, he doesn't know what he would have done without him. He kinda owes his life to him, and he always reminds that to him, it became and old joke between them. But truth is, even in the night, when he can't fall asleep, he looks at the ceiling with his hands outstreched and wonders what could come out of him if he wasn't by his side.

"'S everything alright?”

"Yeah, sure.” He lies because he doesn't really get how bad the situation is. He will only understand it that night. That was the first night he realised the weight of words, that was the first night he cried and realised how lucky he is to have him.

"You sure? 'cause you seem a little out today.”

And he smiles, because otherwise he would cry. He's just so confused. “Yes, no... Don't know. I'll tell you when we get to your house, ok?”

He's friend nods as an agreement. And they drove to his place, and his parents hugs and gives him their great love. He owes them his life aswell. Without them, he would have spent many days sleeping on the street.

At the end of that long day, they set on his bed. And his friend asks him for his mood again, so swallos and then starts telling. But at the middle of his words his best friend flinches, his eyes wide as two tennis balls.

"Y- you're gay?”

 

4\. With the forth time came the biggest disappointment:  
  
He loved him so much. That much, that everytime he saw him he felt his heart skips a bit, everytime he was near him his whole body was on fire. At every look. And he looked a lot. No doubt, he had Marco from the first second. He wanted him so much, in a way he never knew before.

They were together, at every holiday, every party and every meeting. And even though - at first - they didn't play for the same team, he saw him more than he saw his gym club trainer. And he saw him almost every day.

This man was his first real love.

It was the first time he was attracted to a man physically, one that he could see with his own eyes, to talk to, to touch. This man lured all kinds of feelings from him, in an extreme way.  
  
It got worse when he moved to play together with him. It made him crazy. Seven years that he was clearly aware of his sexual attraction, but there wasn't any man that had him for real. And when they shared the same club, the same neighborhood, the same dressing room, he fell even more in love with him.

But the thing was, he didn't know how to reach him with that, didn't knew how to approach him. It was all new to him. And it's not like he wasn't with men (or women) before, it's just that he never did the needed move because... Well, because they all came to him. This time though, he was the one who needed to make the first step. But how could he do that first move when he didn't know how to make any move?

It all made him frustrated. But, even with that feeling, he decided to overcome his fear and ask him out.

And they met at a bar, and drank and laugh and talked. And then, he remembers biting lips and aching stomach, it was the time to reach a new level. After all the drinking and the laughing and the talking came that shy smile and then...

"Sorry, I'm not gay.”

 

5\. The fifth time was forever:  
  
He wasn't sure, but maybe he didn't need real love in his life. At least, in his 26 years of his life. He lost his basic love, the love he wanted to give has been rejected. And ever since then... He was loveless. Maybe, maybe he was just not deserved to be loved. And it wasn't like he didn't love, wasn't like he was lonely, wasn't like he was unhappy. He was. Sometimes even a lot. But he could live without that big deal that was called 'love'.

He didn't had any relationship, and the only times he managed to feel this emotion weren't worth much when anyway he woke up alone the next morning. And he didn't feel empty at all, even though it might sound like it. It was just what he wanted.

Up until now.

It a year now the he wants. Wants very much but can't do anything about it. Because it is the same feeling he felt two years ago. That feeling that had been ignored. And maybe he just felt to be rejected again, maybe he was too afraid to lose this amazing thing they had.

Because he taught him so much about life, about friendship, and about himself. So much things he saw in him, that without noticing he has shown him what love it all over again. But this time he's too scared to reveal his true feeling, scared to be too reackless this time.

Now, though, he feels more prepared. Prepared but scared.

And as he blinks and look at those big eyes that studies him, he know he has to say everything. Not because he feels like he's about to explose, but because of that shy and small smile he wears. The one that is directed especially for him.

So he looks back into those big eyes, and opens him mouth. Somehow, with all that he has been through and everything he lost, he know he will never lose him. That he knows for sure with every time they are together and he gets this feeling of assurance.

So he was the second one Marco invited to a real date. And as he looks at him with that smile, under this dark light and the loud music of the bar...

He didn't expect that.

"I'm gay too,”

And after all the smiles and the laughing and the talking this time came the... kiss.

 


End file.
